Hochsensibilität: Über das Leben mit "schwierigen" Menschen. High sensitivity: On living with "difficult" people.

Gampo Abbey entrance hall, Pema's monastery

I was asked to post a bit more for highly sensitive persons (see "Hochsensibilität" on the right side bar). Well, everything I post is for and about highly sensitive persons in a sense, being one myself. Okay, something special today. What about all those people in our lives who are not highly sensitive and do not even notice that they totally drain our energy with their behaviour? They are who they are. We are who we are. I found this excerpt from an interview with the Buddhist monk Pema Chodron, it is worth contemplating. Zen practice helped me in a high degree to keep my energy when other people shout at me, accuse me, show any kind of aggressiveness; for us this feels as if they would stick knives into our bodies because we do not have any borders between ourselves and others. But that's important: Do not forget to care for yourself - do not hesitate to tell someone to leave you alone when you feel he or she is more than you can bear at the moment. Pema mentions Leonard Cohen, who always appeared to me to be a highly sensitive person.

"You know who said it best? Leonard Cohen. He meditated all those years at Mt. Baldy Zen Center, often for twelve hours at a time. In an interview, he said he got so bored with his dramatic storyline. And then he made the comment, "The less there was of me, the happier I got." That's the answer to enjoy your life. It's to show up and have a sense of curiosity about whatever might appear that day, including it all in your sense of appreciation of this precious human birth, which is so short. I don't want to call it delight, although it can feeel like that. It's more curiosity. Some people say, I know what's going to show up today - the same old thing. But it's never really the same old thing.

The less there is of you, the more your're interested in and curious about other people. Who you live with and who you rub up against and who you share this world with is a very important part of enjoying your life. Sarte said, "Hell is other people", but this is the other view of that. When people irritate you, when they get your goat, when they slander you, whatever it might be, you still have a relationship with them. It's interesting that of all the billions of people on the earth, they're the particular ones who came into your world. There's respect for whatever happens, and this is only really possible if your're not rejecting whole parts of your experience." Pema Chodron

"Weißt du, wer das am besten ausgedrückt hat? Leonard Cohen. Er hat all die Jahre im Mt. Baldy Zen Center meditiert, oft zwölf Stunden lang. In einem Interview sagte er, seine dramatische Geschichte habe begonnen, ihn so zu langweilen. Und dann sagte er: "Je weniger von mir da war, umso glücklicher wurde ich". Das ist die Antwort auf die Frage, wie wir Freude am Leben haben. Es bedeutet, wach zu sein und ein Gefühl der Neugier zu haben für alles, was an diesem Tag auftauchen wird, und alles einzuschließen in dein Gefühl der Wertschätzung für diese kostbare menschliche Geburt, die so kurz ist. Ich möchte es nicht Vergnügen nennen, obwohl es sich so anfühlen kann. Es ist eher Neugier. Manche Menschen sagen, ich weiß schon, was heute passieren wird - immer dasselbe alte Zeug. Aber es ist nie wirklich dasselbe alte Zeug.

Je weniger von dir da ist, umso neugieriger und interessierter bist du an anderen Menschen. Es ist wichtig für deine Freude am Leben, mit wem du lebst und an wem du dich reibst und mit wem du diese Welt teilst. Sarte sagte: "Hölle, das sind die anderen". Aber das ist die andere Sichtweise. Wenn Menschen dich irritieren, wenn sie deine Knöpfchen drücken, wenn sie dich verleumden, was auch immer, so hast du doch immer noch eine Beziehung zu ihnen. Es ist interessant, dass unter all den Billionen Menschen auf der Erde gerade sie diejenigen sind, die in deine Welt getreten sind. Da ist Respekt für alles, was geschieht, und das ist nur möglich, wenn du nicht ganze Teile deiner Erfahrung ablehnst." Pema Chödrön

Found in the Buddhist magazine Lion's Roar.